Flag Football

Emmet just finished up his first season of flag football. He really enjoyed playing. My parents came into town and came to his last game. Emmet let my parents know, "I'm not really that good." But at least he got out there and did it!!

Three Years-Look How Far We've Come

Last night I was reading an article entitled "Children must learn about death". There was a quote by Arthur Henry King that really struck me.

"Without death we should not fully understand

how much we love those who go...It

intensifies our love as nothing else can do."

I believe it would have struck me no matter what time of year it was, but because tomorrow is the three year anniversary of Sam's death I have really reflected on that statement. I obviously have always loved Sam or we wouldn't have gotten married. And throughout our marriage my ability to love him increased with each year and with each child. But with his passing it is hard to explain, but the love and admiration I do feel for him has intensified. I just never have been able to put it to words until I read that quote. The longer he is gone, the more I love him. Sounds weird, but I begin to realize all the great and small things he did for me. I realize how much I took for granted. It is such a blessing to have a husband, who even if he drives you crazy, to share your life with, to share in the ups and downs, to bounce ideas off with, to laugh together about your crazy children, to talk about the gospel with and to validate your feelings. So with each passing day my love and gratitude for Sam increases, helping the ache gets less sever. My hope is one day (sooner than later) when I think of Sam (which is more times than I can count in a day) I will feel only an intense love for him, not a combination of sadness, heartache, loss, and grief. I am told it will come, but to be patient! The quote continues to say,

"And how many of us realize that it may

intensify our love, not only at the moment

it comes, but all our life, if we remember

when we are with people that we may not,

after all, be always with them?"

How true this is! I look at my children, family and friends so differently. I really do try to cherish the moments I have with them, because life is so unpredictable!

One of my favorite songs, especially to exercise to is by Matchbox Twenty, How Far We've Come. When I look back I'm amazed at what I've been able to accomplish. The first year is a total blur. I must have been a zombie and don't remember how I even functioned. Emery was 1 and Emmet was 3! The second year I was coming out of the fog, but was much harder than the first year because I was coming out of the fog. Thank goodness for a great counselor. I had never been to counseling, but I loved it! I looked forward to it. I would come home exhausted, but each time I talked about Sam and his death the whole lessened. I found and still do that talking about Sam's death always strengthens me. This third year has been the best so far. I was able to find a few activities I enjoyed. What really has made all the difference in my little family is Emmet is happy. He's truly happy. I wasn't ever sure if he would be. He loves kindergarten. It fulfills his needs of socialization and feeling smart! Emery is happy and always has been. She talks about her dad often and jokes with me that he's going to show up at our house soon and then says, "just kidding, I know he's dead." They are becoming my best friends thankfully. We have so much fun together and I know as they grow-up we will enjoy each other even more.

This next year comes with more change. Emery will start kindergarten, an event I am already fearing. It's all day and though most moms cherish the quiet time, I don't. But if there's one lesson I've learned, but have to keep reminding myself is, life can change quickly. So...I will worry about that when its time!

I am continually thankful that Sam listened to the promptings of the Spirit throughout our marriage, making great choices that now allow me to stay home with Emmet and Emery. What a gift.

All I Want For Christmas...

is my two front teeth!!

He lost them both this week. He obviously wasn't excited about me taking the picture. It was hard to find the right angle because his lips were covering up the area. He lost one with the help of a cousin. He claims he was punched, I'm not sure I believe it! The other he lost at the park. Bother were quite bloody. I think he's a little ahead of schedule, but who knows. I'm just excited he gets to sing the song for our family Christmas Eve program.

So Much To Be Thankful For.....

Thanksgiving is one of those holidays I don't normally look forward to. Especially since it was the last holiday we spent with Sam. I'm not a huge fan of turkey either. But I actually loved Thanksgiving. It was a fun low key day. Emmet played football with my uncle and cousins. He loved it! Last year he got bored after 15 minutes. This year he didn't want to quit. He's starting to get the hang of the game! We still need to work on catching. Emmet played football in a huge yard with dogs, cats, chickens, a guinee pig, slide, swing set, and two playhouses. Emery once she got comfortable with all of the kids had a great time playing while Emmet was doing his "guy" stuff. Or as he would say, "I"m a man yo!"

It was a gorgeous day! My parents flew in from Chicago. I loved having them both here. The TV was never turned on and my mom made a great Turkey dinner. My dad had bought an electrical thermometer so we new exactly when the turkey was done. So it was actually quite moist. Emmet found my old game, Stretego. I use to play it when I was younger and Emmet played it all day. Anyone who walked through the door he would convince to play him. The great part was Emmet never won that day and didn't even get upset. He kept on playing. That really shows how much he's grown-up.

My aunt and her family also were in town and over the weekend we hiked A Mountain. It's the mountain (or hill) right next to the ASU stadium. It's the perfect hike for little people. It was another gorgeous clear warm day. We were all in shorts, not too hot and not too cold. You've got to love AZ this time of year. I never knew Emmet was such a worrier. He was concerned the entire time that we might step on a cactus or fall. Poor guy, while Emery was a little dare devil. She raced to the top and actually ran down to the bottom. Beating us all!




I am so thankful for beautiful healthy children. They bring me the most joy and happiness. I truly don't know what I would do without them. They definitely give me purpose and how thankful I am for that! Their excitement is contagious and encourages me to move forward with hope!

Primary Program

Today was our primary program. It was Emery's first program and with her tract record I had no expectations. Well, I was shocked at both of my children's participation. They both went up on the stand without hesitation. In fact Emery was reciting her part to me over and over just before she went up to make sure she had it memorized. I had a perfect view of both of them. They sang their hearts out. Emmet stood like a little soldier and I could pick his voice out. At times I could even hear Emery. I got teary eyed when Emery stood up and recited her part perfectly they were her own words, "I'm thankful for my family because they help me say my prayers." She said it loud and clear. Emmet had a little trouble remembering, "I know my Heavenly Father loves me because he protects my family and I love him." I was so proud of them. I said a little prayer hoping Sam was able to share in that moment with me. I know he would have been just as proud and amazed.

Halloween

In the past I have dreaded this holiday, for a number of reasons. Mainly, their dad isn't here to join in the fun. Sam always made Halloween fun, because I'm not much for dressing up. My point isn't to dwell on that, but that I made a decision to use the power of a positive attitude and see if I could turn this holiday around. I didn't want to be the Halloween Scrooge anymore. I am happy to report that it worked!! For the first time EVER I had a great time at my ward's trunk-or-treat. My kids absolutely loved it. Emery was hesitant at first, but once she realized she actually didn't have to say trick-or-treat she caught the spirit. We spent Halloween day at their Nanny and Papa Hawkins' home. We had a great party with their cousins and they LOVED trick-or-treating with them. They even got to go on the golf cart. I went home Halloween night so proud of myself that we were able to have such a great time. I should probably try this positive attitude thing again!!


Emmet was having too much fun to hold still long enough for pictures.

Halloween Fun

October Break

As much as I hate that my family does not live in the same state as me, it's great having wonderful places to visit. Emmet had a week off of school and we headed to sunny CA for a much needed break. Thanks to a thoughtful dad, we didn't have to drive, but flew into Burbank.

They are such easy travelers and they couldn't believe how short the flight was. They did freak out though when they saw that we had to exit the airplane by stairs. It was raining and they were both so concerned about being out in the rain next to the plane. Emmet especially is my little worry wart!!

Chris and Jenny live in Pasadena and they have such a cute apartment. We probably visited on the worst weekend possible for Chris. He was studying for his first midterms. So, Thursday we headed to Disneyland to keep the kids occupied! (They love Chris and wouldn't leave him alone to study.) Jenny and Chris have season passes. Chris studied most of the day, met up with us for a few hours and then headed back to studying. Jenny and I had a great time with the kids. We stayed ALL day!




They can't wait to go back. Emery absolutely loved every roller coaster and especially splash mountain. Emmet loved It's a Small World. I really can't believe how great they were. It was a fun, long day and they keep asking to go back.

Chance and Angela flew in Thursday night. We hadn't all hung out since May so it was so fun to see each other.

We played around some of the famous Hollywood sites Friday while Chris studied. We spent a little bit of time in the fashion district, but none of us felt like we were fashionable enough to shop there!

We headed to Huntington Beach Saturday and had another fun day. It was foggy most of the time, so you really couldn't see too far out into the ocean. Even thought it was the middle of October it didn't stop the kids from getting in. I couldn't believe how happy Emmet was at the beach this time. He just hung out digging the in the sand by himself most of the time. We were there for almost six hours and he didn't want to leave!! What a change from when he was little and hated the sand.



Most of the day the kids with the help of their aunts and uncles built a sand castle. The diet coke is in honor of grandma kathy!

I loved being with family and so did my kids. The vacation didn't last long enough. We ate two nights in a row at Yogurtland. Seriously, if you live anywhere near Pasadena you have got to go. It was so yummy build your own yogurt!
Despite me getting sick the last two days and not sure if I felt well enough to fly home we had a great time. I swear I get sick on every vacation because I finally relax.

Another Year Older

It is nice having both of my kids birthdays literally a month a part, but a little stressful as well. I don't know how moms do it who have kids birthdays in December. I guess you get everything done in one full swoop.

Here are a few highlights from Emmets 6th Birthday. Emmet's last night as a five year old ended in such an odd and curious way. He comes into my bedroom dressed in what he calls his "army gear"!

All I could do was laugh. He loved his little getup and was determined to sleep in it. What shocked me is he could fall asleep boots and all.


I did eventually take the boots and hat off.

On the morning of Emmet's birthday I am awakened by Emmet's whisperings in my ear, "Mom, mom it's my birthday where are my presents? Can I open them right now?" He is a very persuasive child and an hour later he was opening the three gifts Emery and I got him. He headed off to school and his teacher invited me to come spend the morning in the classroom with him. I was excited to go spend time with him and thankful my mom was in town to watch Emery.

Emmet came home to more surprises. Grandma Kathy and Emery had hidden a few more gifts around the house. Emmet loved "hunting" for his presents. He blew out his candles at Outback. It's his favorite restaurant because he loves the bread. When he was little I got him to try the bread because it was the "Wiggles" Restaurant and he still calls the bread Austrailan bread! We ate dinner with Nanny and Papa Hawkins. Emmet shares a birthday with Papa and it's fun to do something together on their birthdays.

Nanny and Papa gave Emmet a gigantic lego star wars cruiser. It had 1170 pieces. We laid out a white sheet on our family room floor and for the duration of conference I put together this fun lego. It took almost 6 hours. We did separate the pieces into piles by color and that really helped. I finished it Sunday morning.




The ship stayed in tack for almost an hour. As you know the kids want to play with the lego structure even though it falls apart and breaks quite easily. Well the bottom broke and I began fixing it and couldn't. I told Emmet okay I'm getting frustrated with this and then more broke. Well in what may be my proudest moment in mothering I broke the rest, picked up the pieces stuck them all in the box with instructions and stuck it in Emmet's room. He just stared at me. He didn't cry I think he was shocked. I told him when he was older, he could build it and that was that. He hasn't mentioned it since.

He had a great birthday. He's getting taller all the time. I fear he will be taller than before I know it.

This is for you dad!

My dad's goal is to get Emery to like him! It's a running joke between Emery and him. When ever Emery talks to my dad she always says, "I don't like you grandpa." He pretends to be sad and she laughs and laughs. So dad I know you've been missing her so here are a few funny pics I've taken recently. She is beginning to love posing for the camera!

She wore these purple vampire teeth for an entire afternoon. She kept saying, "mom look I'm a vampire." I promise she knows nothing about Twilight!


Emery is in dance and loves it. It's a great little outlet for her. She gets nervous with adults and she loves her teacher and loves going.
I'm so grateful for Emery. Her humor, smiles, hugs, and need to be with me makes life so much sweeter. I am eternally grateful to be entrusted with Emery and Emmet. Emmet's birthday is this week so I'll have some fun pictures coming later.

Ode to Tai Pan Trading Company

I know for all of you who live in Utah this store is old news, but it's a novelty for us Arizonans! So much so, that this past weekend I joined Sam's mom, his two sisters, two out of my four sisters-in-laws and one niece on a whirlwind of a weekend to Saint George. Our sole purpose of the trip was to buy fun and impractical holiday decor. Who knew that beyond finding some fabulous decor we would enjoy each others company so much. I love a good road trip. We stayed up late each night yapping about who knows what. I learned some new hair tricks and slept in a bed by myself. (That's a novelty for me, my kids somehow end up in bed with me!) I came home needing a nap from my vacation!

My mom flew in to watch my kids! What a great mom. I love my kids, but a short little break was actually really nice. It was much easier to have fun because I knew they were in safe hands and they had a great time with her.

We rode in a 15 passenger van. We came home with it full to the brim with "stuff"!
We did take time to go see one movie. Love Happens. Let me tell you, love does not happen in this movie. I really don't recommend it. If you are dying to see it wait until you can rent it from Red Box even though I'm not sure this movie is worth even waisting one dollar on it or the time you will not be able to regain once watching it!!
I love driving through Northern Arizona. It's a different kind of beautiful. It's hard to explain how rock and desert can be beautiful, but it is. We stopped on our way home at a road side stand and bought some fun Navajo jewelry.

On our way home we joked that next time we need to rent an RV! I hope there is a next time it was a great quick little trip!

Emery Turns 4!

I woke up this morning thinking where has the time gone. It seems like yesterday I was waking up this morning anxious to have Emery here. Today I was anxious to slow time down. I can't believe my baby is not a toddler anymore. We began the day with a few tears.The tears left as quickly as they came!I'm really not quite sure where the peace sign came from. Emmet was so hopeful this morning that he didn't have to go to school because it was Emery's birthday. He will try anything to get out of school and he was persistent but I held my ground and to school he went! Emery and I met up with all of Emery's younger cousins for a birthday lunch at McDonald's. She loves her cousins and she had a great time eating nuggets and playing ring around the rosies!Notice the different outfits. Emery LOVES clothes and wore at least three different outfits today. Grandma Kathy gave her new clothes and she was in heaven. I haven't really done a "friends" birthday party for Emery and this year I thought we would give it a try. We invited four friends over for an hour and fifteen minutes. I had it all planned out and Emmet was hysterical making the girls laugh and it was so cute to see him helping make her party fun. He did eventually get sick of it and went to play at the next door neighbors. His humor and antics reminded me of Sam and that always makes my heart sing.It was a very simple party, but the girls had a great time especially Emery. I hadn't seen her so excited before and so grown-up. She's really starting to come out of her shell. We had a cake and we were singing to her and she wasn't sure what to do. Emmet and I were laughing just blow the candles out!The day ended with her gift from me a silly tent, but I knew she would love playing inside of it!I had to throw this last picture in for Grandma Kathy. This was her final outfit for the evening.I am so relieved that her birthday met her expectations. She's excited for her cousins party next week. Birthdays are a hard day for me. Emmet's and Emery's birthdays were two of the most important days Sam and I shared together and it's hard that he's not here to share in the joy. I'm grateful I've learned to go simple and we had a great time. I don't need to make a production out of it. Emery was beaming as she went to bed. So mission accomplished!

First Day of Kindergarten

I have been dreading this day. Whenever I would think about Emmet going to kindergarten I would get all teary eyed. It's all day kindergarten here. Despite my trepidation, I have been talking it up big all summer and today was the day. I had my whole family praying that it would go smoothly and it did! In fact Emmet was awesome. He was dressed and ready to leave the house by 6:45! He woke up and the first thing he said to me was, "I feel like today is going to be a great day!" That's how I knew he was excited.

He was ready with his Bakugan backpack, Bakugan lunch box, and Bakugan thermos!
We got to school quite early, but he enjoyed playing in the playground and so did Emery. Emmet's teacher is so great she encouraged all of the parents to come inside her classroom and take pictures. Emmet was so confident and he sat down and immediately was talking to the kids at his table.

I wanted to cry watching him only because he looked so grown-up. I was also so relieved that he was happy and excited.
I picked him up from school and he was quite proud that he ate his entire lunch and was even prouder that he ate a chocolate doughnut for his snack. Maybe he'll start eating better. Who knows. All I know is he had a wonderful first day. His favorite part of the day was recesses where he was tackled by three girls. I thought to myself, I'm in trouble!!

Bakugan Tournament

In my attempt to be a fun mom we head to Arizona Mills Saturday to participate in a Bakugan Tournament. I had no idea what we were getting into or if it was legit, but it turned out to be a lot of fun! The place was packed with mom's being dragged by their sons who were carrying their stashes of Bakugan. We stood in line for over an hour waiting for Emmet's turn to battle.

The kids handled the long line well. Of course Emmet loved talking about Bakugan with all the boys in line with us. They were arguing over the finer points of the game. I was entertained by the man standing in line behind me who managed to discuss Star Wars with me for a good amount of time. He feels that his knowledge of Star Wars is so great there is no question you could have that he couldn't answer! I was grateful that Emery was starting to get bored so I could focus my attention on her and not the Star Wars trivia that was being thrown at me.

There were three stations. The first was a demonstration of the game Bakugan given by a "Bakugan Master". I think he was a great actor, but Emmet was convinced he was a "real" Master! I learned all of the rules and was surprised at how much I already knew about Bakugan. So, any moms out there wondering how to play Bakguan, I can definitely help you out with that.

The second station Emmet actually battled! It was done with the help of an adult who assisted the kids during the battle, answering any questions and making sure the game was being played correctly.
The last station Emmet was able to battle unassisted and sit in a really cool chair. He actually won and I could not believe how excited he was! I left so glad we went. It was free and Emmet had a great time. It amazes me how simple an activity can be, but how fun the kids actually have. He wants to have a Bakugan birthday party and set up a tournament. We'll see if I can pull that off.

I have to hand it to Emery. She was such a trooper. She could have battled if she wanted to, but she would rather cheer Emmet on.

Please Someone Remind Me Why I Live In AZ!

I just watched the weather report, which is a novelty because rarely do I watch what I want to watch. Anyway it is suppose to be about 108 degrees give or take for the next two weeks. Some nights the low will be 90 degrees. We went swimming yesterday and the water was so hot it felt better to get wet and sit on the steps and let the breeze cool me off! I have all my curtains drawn and blinds closed to try to keep the heat out. I call my house my little bat cave! Why do I live here? I should become a snowbird!!

Chicago

I would love having my parents living in AZ so we could see them more often, but Chicago is a great alternative! It's been so much fun visiting them each summer and this time was the best visit yet. Chance and Angela live a few blocks from my parents so we were able to see them daily as well. Angela had the "privilege" of spending most days with us!! Thanks Angela for carrying Emmet and Emery, pushing strollers, playing Mario Kart and entertaining kids. What makes the trip to Chicago so exciting for the kids is all of the modes of transportation they took.

First we took the bus, almost daily. There are still very considerate people in the world who would stand up so Emmet and Emery could have a seat, because the bus was always packed!


My parents have a great view of the river and the lake. My kids are constantly watching the boats, so it was pretty exciting when we took a water taxi to Navy Pier. Fortunately it wasn't raining that afternoon.

Emmet has always loved trains so of course we had to take the subway. We took the underground subway and later in the week took the elevated train. The lull of the train almost put Emery to sleep. Emmet and I enjoined being able to look into people's offices because the elevated train travels so close to buildings.


We took taxi's often and my kids loved that they didn't have to be buckled!! Don't worry we never were in them longer than five minutes, but sometimes it was nice to not get wet or our feet were too tired to of walking.
One afternoon we also took a carriage ride down Michigan Avenue, Rush Street and along the Michigan Lake. I enjoyed that ride the most. We went slow enough I could really see what was going on. There is always so much to look at.

I can't forget the airplane ride to and from Phoenix to Chicago. They were awesome and are such seasoned travelers. Such an improvement from even two years ago.

I want to write a quick over view of what we did so that I don't forget. We had so much fun and rarely sat still that it's hard to remember. My parents live right by Millennium and Grant Parks. So we were constantly heading that direction to listen to concerts in the park, visiting the bean, the "spitting" fountain, and they had a great kids area set up under a tent. We went to the Taste of Chicago the first day we got there. We ate the most delicious peach cobbler. We didn't enjoy it as much as we could have because a seagull pooped on my mom twice and it was so gross I was dry heaving as I was trying to clean it off of her!!

It rained often and we didn't come prepared for cool weather. Thankfully I brought sweatshirt jackets. Some days it felt colder that it does in AZ during the winter!
This is our first visit to the "spitting" fountain. I know it has another name, but I have no idea what it is.

We returned on a sunnier day, but they were still cold!

Emmet would tell you his favorite part about our visit was going to the Lego store. He had no idea such a store existed. I've kept it a secret from him on purpose. He now thinks there is only one store and it's in Chicago!! He's in love with Lego Star Wars.

Emery would tell you her favorite part of our trip was visiting the American Girl Place. She would've spent hours in there pointing out everything she wants for Christmas. She wanted anything sparkly and pink!

My favorite part was being with family. That was the longest continuous days I've been with Chance since before his mission. I loved playing with Angela. It was the longest amount of time we've ever spent together and I felt like I've known her forever!! But what was really fun was doing the PX90 Yoga! It was a crack-up. It was quite hard. We pushed the furniture back and just laughed.

We ate out a lot and I enjoyed that. One night Chance and Angela watch Emmet and Emery so my parents and I could enjoy a fun dinner together.

But my favorite place we ate at was called The Bongo Room. We had "brunch" there and ate the best pancake ever. It was a pretzel, caramel, and white chocolate pancake. I wished I had taken a picture of it. It sounds weird, but it was delicious!!
Fortunately it was a beautiful sunny day on July 3rd (which is when many cities in the mid-west have their fire work shows!) In the morning we headed to the "beach"! Yes, it was actually a pretty beach and if you didn't know any different by the pictures you would think it was the ocean the lake is huge. But there are no waves and no smell of salt.


This was the first time Emery had ever seen fireworks. We only walked five minutes from my parents apartment. That is the way to go. No fuss fireworks. It was a great show too! Emery had a hard time staying awake during them and Emmet was nervous the entire time. He was afraid they were too close to us. The noise of the fireworks echoed off the building around the lake so you would hear more than one boom. At times it got really loud!

We had such a great time. I loved having adult interaction everyday. That's the hardest about being home, it gets lonely being the only adult in the house. Thanks mom, dad, Chance and Angela for a great and memorable trip.