She Swallowed a Magnet

My sweet four year old swallowed a magnet three weeks ago while my mom was watching her. Who would have guessed she would have taken a magnet off of the fridge and swallowed that before the thousands of small toy pieces laying around the house. Emery actually freaked out and told my mom, "grandma can this be our secret!"

I then began my daily hunt for the magnet. To spare you the details, I have been on poop duty for three weeks. I carry rubber gloves where ever I go. It's not as gross as it sounds. I have stuck around while she's at other people's home or at pre-school just in case she poops. I haven't wanted anyone else to do the job!

She had an x-ray taken two weeks ago and the magnet was in her tummy. It's 2.3 cm. She had an x-ray yesterday and it's still there. Emery has even been on a medicine to help push the magnet through. But to no avail, we're assuming it's just too big to move on.

I went and picked up the films from the first x-ray and you can see the magnet very clearly. In fact Emery took the x-ray to pre-school today to show her friends.

I was told today that next Friday Emery will have an outpatient procedure to extract the magnet. She'll have it done at the Phoenix Children's Hospital where they are use to taking foreign objects out of children. All I can do is laugh. Seriously, there is rarely a dull moment in my life, possibly this is a blessing to keep me busy and to help time fly. I just can't believe it's almost been a year since Emmet was in the hospital and obviously Sam spent many, many days there. What is it with my family!!

Disneyland!!

It's been a fun tradition every so many years to go to Disneyland with the entire Hawkins clan!! We have always gone the week of Sam's birthday. He shared it with his mom and niece! I will admit I was quite stressed getting ready for this vacation, but once we were on the road we had a GREAT time. Here are a few highlights.

We rode in a 15 passenger van. I was hesitant about that, but my kids played with cousins and I got to watch TV on my itouch. Emery had the itouch for awhile and thought she was such a big girl!

We stayed in a hotel with an outdoor pool. My kids loved swimming with their cousins.

This was our first morning at Disneyland waiting for the park to open. We had three day passes which was awesome. I never felt rushed and I actually experienced other fun features of the park because we were able to ride on all the rides we wanted to as many times as we wanted!!


Emery was in heaven hanging out with cousins, but especially Gid. She doesn't see him often and they were so cute together. We used the buddy system a lot and they were buddies, holding hands and riding rides together. They are two peas in a pod. I especially loved listening in on their conversations.

My kids this time got really into meeting all of the Disney characters. Emery especially wanted her picture taken with anyone she could find. So here are a few of my favorites. I especially loved the one with the kids in front of Eyore. It was a family joke when Sam was growing up that he was a lot like Eyore.






Our last day at Disneyland we went to the Bippidy Boppidy Boutique were Emery was turned into a beautiful princess. She chose the up do and Emmet tagged along. When we walked in Emmet was asked if he wanted to be made into a knight or prince? He vehemently said no. A few moments later he said I'd like to be a knight. He hopped up on the chair and he had a great time. Emery was quiet and stoic taking it all in and Emmet was talking the "fairy godmother in training's" ear off!! She couldn't stop laughing at what he was saying. I was sitting with Emery so I couldn't hear their conversation, but it was hilarious that he wanted to join in on the fun. He is soooo much like his dad that way.

Here is the before picture!

I wasn't quite sure where this was going!

She is being careful not to mess her nail polish up and loving the make-up! I loved that there was a story behind every product used on her. The nail polish was made from strawberries grown by Tinkerbell. The ring she was given was mined by the twelve dwarfs!

Oh was she happy with the outcome! It felt good to make her so happy. I can be so practical that I don't do fun stuff. I'm glad I splurged on this for her!!


Emmet definitely had some crazy hair. He was dubbed a knight and he may not admit it, but he loved it!

Their favorite ride was the new Toy Story ride in California Adventure. They loved it! As you can tell from the picture. It was 3-D requiring us to wear glasses. I Love this picture.


We had a wonderful time being with family and playing at Disneyland. I was a little teary eyed on Sam's birthday. He would have been 32 and that still seems so young. I'm thankful we had something fun to focus on that day!!

Look Mom No Hands!!

Emery learned to ride Emmet's two wheeler over Christmas break. She learned in a day, so much quicker than her brother. I love her can do attitude. She is out every day riding her bike. She loves it. Yesterday we rode our bikes to school dropping Emmet off. On the way Emery exclaimed, "look mom no hands!" I kind of freaked out, I don't want any broken teeth! Today Emmet was telling me that once Emery is too big for the bike we need to save it for when daddy comes down and we have another boy. I sweetly told him mom's can't have baby's forever most mom's stop having kids when they are 40. He thought about this and told me I have 9 years and that dad should be back by then. Poor guy, I didn't want to crush his hopes!

Christmas 2009

This was the very first Christmas morning spent in our own home. We usually slept at my parents, but this year I finally felt it was time to do it in our own home. I wasn't sure how it would turn out, but my family was awesome and helped make Christmas morning special. Here are a few pics!

Christmas Eve Day Cookie Party with cousins. My kids are the perfect age to really get into the spirit of Santa!

Traditionally on Christmas Eve day for lunch we have clam chowder and pizza was added for the little kids. We always had Little Ceasars, until Sam joined the family we upgraded to Barros. I think that's one tradition we'll keep!!

We spend Christmas Eve afternoon at my parents. We share some of our talents. The kids were suppose to be singing our favorite song Alfie the Elf. They weren't quite in to it!

Emmet did with a little encouraging sing All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth!

I just love this picture of Emery blowing spit bubbles!! She's all girl, yet as rough and tumble as they come. Her dad would have loved that about her.

I love my little angel. She has a gift of being so tender and sweet!!

We spend Christmas Eve at the Hawkins. We do the Nativity and my kids really take this seriously. Emmet asked to be a Wise Man this year. He sat perfectly still for almost 15 minutes. This proves he's able to sit still through FHE right?!!?

Emery was Mary and she will talk about this all year long. You can't miss her, she's the pink Mary!! I'm not sure the real Mary made quite a fashion statement.

Santa's elves ie: Chris and Jenny Olson came to my house around 10:30 that night delivering all of the gifts that were hiding at my parents home. I am so thankful they helped me I was so tired and it's no fun doing things by yourself all the time. They spent the night and my parents arrived at my door at 6 am. Emmet had just woken up so it was perfect timing. I loved having a house full of family. It was wonderful to have others with me to see my kids reactions and laugh with me. Too often I'm laughing at my kids alone.

Sam's dad took my kids shopping for me. I love seeing what they pick out. This year they got me the board game mouse trap. Emmet and my dad were setting it up and Emmet came running up to me in the other room, "mom, mom the game has four players so if dad was here he could play it with us!" It still amazes me how much they think about him and love him. If he walked through the door right now, I know they would recognize him and accept him immediately. Kids are amazing!!

Emery got a great doll house for all of her Barbie "stuff". But she also got make-up. She especially loved the blush!! This doll house on occasion has turned into Emmet's lego base. Emmet did get some legos. His dreams came true, I have successfully built them and for now they are still intact! We have learned from the past and Santa brought only "age appropriate" legos.

Hip hip hurray for our best Christmas yet. I've been saying this a lot I've noticed, but with every passing day we are able to find a little bit more Joy! Thank goodness.

The Polar Express

We headed up north to Flagstaff to enjoy the Polar Express. It was freezing by our standards, but oh how much fun we had. The train car looked exactly like the movie. We were given hot chocolate on the train. Emery took one sip and then spit it out, similar to the movies. I couldn't help but laugh it looked so funny. We sang songs, Santa came through handing out bells. They also read the Polar Express. Everyone was in PJs. I recommend it to anyone in AZ!!

Emmet had three requests on this short trip.

1.

Play in the snow. I wasn't sure if there would be snow but there was! Thankfully, my aunt sent us their old snow clothes.

2.

Have a snowball fight!! I lacked the proper shoes, but we did have a snowball fight. This was the first time Emery had ever played in the snow. What a good sport she was.

3. Emmet wanted to see it snow and a bonus was go sledding! We were staying at my aunt and uncles home and my uncle Kevin made the sledding possible. They just used their front lawn. What was really cool was the morning we were leaving it started to snow!! I thought it was our sweet little Christmas miracle that Emmet got everything he wished for!

Flag Football

Emmet just finished up his first season of flag football. He really enjoyed playing. My parents came into town and came to his last game. Emmet let my parents know, "I'm not really that good." But at least he got out there and did it!!

Three Years-Look How Far We've Come

Last night I was reading an article entitled "Children must learn about death". There was a quote by Arthur Henry King that really struck me.

"Without death we should not fully understand

how much we love those who go...It

intensifies our love as nothing else can do."

I believe it would have struck me no matter what time of year it was, but because tomorrow is the three year anniversary of Sam's death I have really reflected on that statement. I obviously have always loved Sam or we wouldn't have gotten married. And throughout our marriage my ability to love him increased with each year and with each child. But with his passing it is hard to explain, but the love and admiration I do feel for him has intensified. I just never have been able to put it to words until I read that quote. The longer he is gone, the more I love him. Sounds weird, but I begin to realize all the great and small things he did for me. I realize how much I took for granted. It is such a blessing to have a husband, who even if he drives you crazy, to share your life with, to share in the ups and downs, to bounce ideas off with, to laugh together about your crazy children, to talk about the gospel with and to validate your feelings. So with each passing day my love and gratitude for Sam increases, helping the ache gets less sever. My hope is one day (sooner than later) when I think of Sam (which is more times than I can count in a day) I will feel only an intense love for him, not a combination of sadness, heartache, loss, and grief. I am told it will come, but to be patient! The quote continues to say,

"And how many of us realize that it may

intensify our love, not only at the moment

it comes, but all our life, if we remember

when we are with people that we may not,

after all, be always with them?"

How true this is! I look at my children, family and friends so differently. I really do try to cherish the moments I have with them, because life is so unpredictable!

One of my favorite songs, especially to exercise to is by Matchbox Twenty, How Far We've Come. When I look back I'm amazed at what I've been able to accomplish. The first year is a total blur. I must have been a zombie and don't remember how I even functioned. Emery was 1 and Emmet was 3! The second year I was coming out of the fog, but was much harder than the first year because I was coming out of the fog. Thank goodness for a great counselor. I had never been to counseling, but I loved it! I looked forward to it. I would come home exhausted, but each time I talked about Sam and his death the whole lessened. I found and still do that talking about Sam's death always strengthens me. This third year has been the best so far. I was able to find a few activities I enjoyed. What really has made all the difference in my little family is Emmet is happy. He's truly happy. I wasn't ever sure if he would be. He loves kindergarten. It fulfills his needs of socialization and feeling smart! Emery is happy and always has been. She talks about her dad often and jokes with me that he's going to show up at our house soon and then says, "just kidding, I know he's dead." They are becoming my best friends thankfully. We have so much fun together and I know as they grow-up we will enjoy each other even more.

This next year comes with more change. Emery will start kindergarten, an event I am already fearing. It's all day and though most moms cherish the quiet time, I don't. But if there's one lesson I've learned, but have to keep reminding myself is, life can change quickly. So...I will worry about that when its time!

I am continually thankful that Sam listened to the promptings of the Spirit throughout our marriage, making great choices that now allow me to stay home with Emmet and Emery. What a gift.