Little Moments of Joy

I get asked often what I've learned since Sam has died. I feel it's a loaded question because there's still so much for me to learn, but the past few weeks I've tried to stop and really enjoy the sweet moments I have with my kids. I have found the most comfort and joy in very simple events. I was baking for a young women's activity, I had Christmas music on, Emery was playing in the sink and Emmet was at my feet playing Bakugan and I hadn't felt that happy in a long time. I've realized it's not the big events that bring me joy, but very quiet subtle moments. How grateful I am for those. I'm hoping many moments of "joy" happen in the next few weeks. I thought this year the holidays would be easier, but I'm also learning that it's going to take a lot longer than I thought to make it through the holidays without tears.

I run my own personal nudist colony...

Seriously, I feel like I live in a nudist colony. I think my children are dressed and the next thing I know one of them or both are completely naked. 90% of the time my kids are naked. If you drop by my home unexpectedly you will probably see a cute naked bum running by. It is beginning to drive me crazy. Emery is especially bad. I keep catching her outside riding her bike without any underwear on. I'm sure the neighbors think we're crazy. The first week we were in our house Emmet ran outside buck naked and peed in the rocks just as my next door neighbors were coming home. It was a great introduction. Thanks to her older brother's example, Emery complains that she's not allowed to pee in the rocks. Unfortunately I have caught her trying several times. You would think a 3 and 5 year old could keep themselves dress! I'm going crazy!!!

Grief Help...

A lot of people ask me questions about grief and what they can do for friends who have lost loved ones and I give suggestions, but ironically I don't always feel like I'm an authority on the subject. I just finished reading, "The Grief Recovery Handbook". It was recommended to me and the first book I've ever read about grief. I felt like this book was quite educational and helped explain what grief is and how we aren't raised to be equipped with "loss". I don't recommend buying it unless you have lost a loved one, but I recommend anyone to read the first chapters because it just helped explain what people who have lost loved ones are going through and I think even I will be better equipped to help, "mourn with those that mourn." This book also validated most of the feelings I've felt in the last two years and makes me realize how normal my feelings have been!!

Bakugan Anyone?

Emmet is in love with Bakugan. Bakugan are little round balls that when they connect with a magnet they pop open. I am not kidding Emmet asks me daily to call the local Wal-Marts and Targets to see if the stores have any Bakugan. Usually they don't this toy is in such demand. This last Saturday Emmet's grandpa (Sam's dad) took Emmet to Toys R Us to a Bakugan tournament. Emmet played one round. He lost, but he was also the youngest kid there by three years. Despite losing Emmet couldn't stop talking about it. He is obsessed. Everyday I'm trying to avoid calling stores and playing round after round of Bakugan. I usually have played at least one round of Bakugan by 8am!!

My Baby Brother is Engaged!

Chance proposed this weekend and Angela said yes!! I am so excited he's found such a wonderful girl to marry him!! I can't wait to meet her in person, not just on i-chat!! They're getting married in San Antonio, Texas which makes it even more fun. I've never been to Texas and I've always wanted to. So, congrats Chance!!

My Favorite Thanksgiving

Most of you know I really dislike Thanksgiving. Growing up I always thought of it as a "boys" holiday because they got to play football, eat yummy food, and watch more football. While I always helped in the kitchen making a meal that took days to prepare and only 30 minutes to eat!! But, I do have a favorite Thanksgiving and I wanted to make sure I wrote it down for my kids. It was in 2005 the year Emery was born. We were living in Maryland and that year my youngest brother Chance came to visit. We decided to make our own Thanksgiving. Sam loved to cook, so he was up for the challenge. I think we made so much food we ate it for a week. Sam cooked the turkey himself, he made homemade stuffing and I made my grandma's yummy fruit salad. I also made pumpkin pie (my favorite Thanksgiving desert). I have to say the Turkey turned out great, especially for our first time and using our dinky apartment oven. Sam and Chance stuffed themselves silly and very little football was watched that day! The kids were taking naps while we ate, so we actually could carry on a conversation without crying kids. I look back and am so thankful for our time in Maryland and for my tiny apartment!

Happy Voting Day!

I love voting day!! My kids and I headed out the door at 7am hoping we wouldn't have to stand in line too long. We were there for an hour and it was so fun explaining to Emmet and Emery why we vote and how special our country is. I am thankful to live in a country where my voice can be heard.