New Song

Since January Emmet and I have been attending New Song. It is a program for grieving children and their families. Emery isn't old enough to attend yet so she usually hangs out with my brother and his wife for the evening and has a great time. I wasn't sure what to think of the program when I first attended, but I've come to look forward to going as much as Emmet does. Emmet is with a group of 5-8 year old kids whose mom or dad have died. Going has made Emmet realize he's not the only one who has lost a parent. While Emmet is in his group doing different activities related to grief, I am with a group of widows and widowers. I am the youngest by about 10 years, but it's been great talking to others in very similar situations. We discuss how to handle being single parents.

Tonight was a little different. I haven't ever thought the activity of letting balloons off in honor of your loved one really made much since. But...tonight that's just what we did. We each wrote a note to Sam and then as a group let our balloons go. Emmet took this activity very seriously. I just had to write down what he wrote because it was really a window to his feelings, which he doesn't share too often. He wrote, "I love you dad. I wish you were here. I hope you will always love me. I will always love you. Love Emmet." It about broke my heart hearing him tell this to me so I could write it. He wanted to know his dad's favorite color so he could pick the right colored balloon. He told me he knows the balloon will pop before it gets to dad because there is no air in space!! I also wrote a short note and was surprised at what I would actually tell Sam if I could send him a letter. As a group we let our balloons go and it was fun to watch them fly away. I do believe that Sam is near and that he is very aware of me and my kids, but I had never written anything with a purpose like this before. I was touched by the activity.