I think he will forever be 28 in my eyes!!
Hawkins Trio: Kira, Emmet and Emery
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
I Finally Did It!!
One of my new years resolution was to learn how to make home made wheat bread. My parents gave me an electric wheat grinder for Christmas and all of my mom's old cans of wheat. They date back as far as August 1988! After four tries my bread FINALLY turned out. I could not figure out what I was doing wrong. I talked to anyone and everyone who had ever made bread. Then today I happened to glance at the expiration date on my oil. Yeah, it had expired a year ago! Obviously I don't do a lot of cooking. Using fresh oil made all the difference and my bread tasted so yummy, I was shocked!! One goal down one more to go. I am participating in a sprint triathlon February 21 in San Diego. My friends convinced me to train with them. I've been apprehensive to do it because of the swimming. I was not sure I could swim half a mile in the San Diego Bay, but I've been practicing and each time I get in the pool I'm a little better. My goal is to just cross the finish line. I've loved training up to this point. It's been so fun to have a goal to reach towards!!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Okay...So We're Finally Recovered
It's taken us awhile to recover from the holidays. If I could be tranquilized from about mid November to the second week in January I think my life would be less emotional. All joking aside, Christmas turned out to be great! Emmet's dreams came true, Santa gave him a box full of individually wrapped Bakugan! He has figured out that there is metal around the window frames in our home and that is where he keeps his "army" of Bakugan. (If you don't know they are magnetic balls that pop open into an action figure) Emery got her first bike and is a kamikazi on it! In fact, we have been out on bike rides almost daily since Christmas!
This picture was taken Christmas morning. Emery has her own sense of style. She picked out her outfit!!
As for me thank goodness it's so sunny in AZ. I think a combination of the sunshine, happy children who are beginning to be a little more independent and I"m finally beginning to have the energy to make it as a single mom, this year will be a good one for us.
This picture was taken Christmas morning. Emery has her own sense of style. She picked out her outfit!!As for me thank goodness it's so sunny in AZ. I think a combination of the sunshine, happy children who are beginning to be a little more independent and I"m finally beginning to have the energy to make it as a single mom, this year will be a good one for us.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Top Ten Reasons Why I Love and Miss Sam!!
I can't believe another year has come and gone. I keep thinking Sam should be heading home, just finishing a two year Mormon mission! How exciting that would be. I am trying to make the two year mark more light hearted so here I go with my top ten list. It's really in no particular order.
1. Sam was a much better cleaner than I am. He always cleaned the bathrooms. I loved it! He also was such a huge help in the kitchen.
2. I loved that he was so much taller than me. He would give me picky back rides, carry me on his shoulders and gave the best hugs.
3. I absolutely loved watching him play with Emmet and Emery. He was always so inventive with them. One of the hardest things for me to cope with is the fact that Sam doesn't have the opportunity to play with his kids, because he loved it!
4. I love sitting in the passenger seat. Sounds silly, but I hate driving.
5. I miss playing tennis, soccer, and going on bike rides. I especially miss going on walks with him.
6. I miss our gospel discussions. We would talk for hours about religion. I have so many questions I still want to discuss with him!
7. I loved that he brought out the fun side in me and helped me not be such a stick in the mud. So many times I would complain about going to a shower or some church function. Sam would convince me to go telling me I would have fun. He was always right. I loved that he would wait up for me to hear all about it!
8. I miss our road trips. We had so much fun driving to California on a whim, relaxing in Mexico or exploring the East coast. He was the best travel companion. Some of our best conversations where during our road trips.
9. I miss his gorgeous blue eyes that always lit up when I walked into the room.
10. I miss and still love my best friend who always helped me be the best I could be and saw my potential. He would never let me criticize myself because he would tell me it hurt too much to hear someone talk so negatively about his favorite person!!
1. Sam was a much better cleaner than I am. He always cleaned the bathrooms. I loved it! He also was such a huge help in the kitchen.
2. I loved that he was so much taller than me. He would give me picky back rides, carry me on his shoulders and gave the best hugs.
3. I absolutely loved watching him play with Emmet and Emery. He was always so inventive with them. One of the hardest things for me to cope with is the fact that Sam doesn't have the opportunity to play with his kids, because he loved it!
4. I love sitting in the passenger seat. Sounds silly, but I hate driving.
5. I miss playing tennis, soccer, and going on bike rides. I especially miss going on walks with him.
6. I miss our gospel discussions. We would talk for hours about religion. I have so many questions I still want to discuss with him!
7. I loved that he brought out the fun side in me and helped me not be such a stick in the mud. So many times I would complain about going to a shower or some church function. Sam would convince me to go telling me I would have fun. He was always right. I loved that he would wait up for me to hear all about it!
8. I miss our road trips. We had so much fun driving to California on a whim, relaxing in Mexico or exploring the East coast. He was the best travel companion. Some of our best conversations where during our road trips.
9. I miss his gorgeous blue eyes that always lit up when I walked into the room.
10. I miss and still love my best friend who always helped me be the best I could be and saw my potential. He would never let me criticize myself because he would tell me it hurt too much to hear someone talk so negatively about his favorite person!!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Tree Hunting
I was thinking of one of my favorite holiday memories with Sam . It was Emery's first Christmas and the day after Thanksgiving. Chance was visiting and the five of us headed north to cut down a fresh tree. This was a novelty for us because in AZ we use fake trees! It was a cold morning, but we had so much fun. It was actually quite hard to pick out the "perfect" tree. I remember Chance getting so irritated with us because we were taking such a long time to pick out a tree. What I laugh the most about is how we discarded the tree. Sam just chucked it off our apartment balcony.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Little Moments of Joy
I get asked often what I've learned since Sam has died. I feel it's a loaded question because there's still so much for me to learn, but the past few weeks I've tried to stop and really enjoy the sweet moments I have with my kids. I have found the most comfort and joy in very simple events. I was baking for a young women's activity, I had Christmas music on, Emery was playing in the sink and Emmet was at my feet playing Bakugan and I hadn't felt that happy in a long time. I've realized it's not the big events that bring me joy, but very quiet subtle moments. How grateful I am for those. I'm hoping many moments of "joy" happen in the next few weeks. I thought this year the holidays would be easier, but I'm also learning that it's going to take a lot longer than I thought to make it through the holidays without tears.
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